im holly from the hills drunk
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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