What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
