I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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