You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
