I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
