the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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