I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
