He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
