So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
