Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
