I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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