He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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