fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
