haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
