Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
