The maid of honor just puked.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
