Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
