So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
