Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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