Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
