can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
