he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
