so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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