I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
