Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
