Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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