Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
