He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
