Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
