he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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