I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
