So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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