I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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