I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Let's get the cat blown out
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
