also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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