I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
