im about as happy as oj after his trial
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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