nut hugger
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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