My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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