Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
