AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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