found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize