What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
