I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
