Can Purell be used as lube?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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