i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Did I show you my penis last night?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
