I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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