I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
