My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
