her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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