big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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