I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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