to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
