So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize