Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We need to rekindle our bromance
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
