hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
