"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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