ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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