Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
