dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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