living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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